Meg was sad. She couldn't find her way out the pyramid. She had nothing left to eat and her magic wand was lost. At the moment she was standing in a room full of carnivorous plants. The big, purple one in the corner was staring at Meg. She could have bet that the plant was trying to tell her something. She had seen that kind of plant before at the old witch's house. She felt drawn to it as if it were magnetic.
Meg calculated that she had probably reached the top of the pyramid. She was really anxious to find her way out but the only two options available to leave the carnivorous greenhouse were either going back or through the tiny locked door behind the purple plant. What was even scarier, after a while, she noticed there were more purple plants and she couldn't tell which one was hiding the door. She reached in her bag for her spell book, hoping it would contain a solution.
"Where is my book? Where is my book? It must have fallen when I was chasing the thing. I swear that fish is evil or maybe it was just disguised as a fish. They say it has many faces."
Suddenly the light in the room grew brighter and all the plants shrunk back into their pots.
" Maybe now I can go back to my old mistress."
In the bright light she could now clearly see the door which was surprisingly open. The door led to an immense parking lot where she counted no less then 34 identical shooting stars. Meg could have bet that the 33rd was hers because of the unaesthetic scratch. She climbed on and the star shot out of the parking lot leaving a rainbow trail or sparkles behind it. She was happy for it. She wanted to arrive home as soon as possible to avoid a big drama.
After flying for a while she found herself in front of the old witch's door, which, for the first time ever, was locked.
"This is weird. She never goes outside. Especially at night. Especially when there is THE THING out there."
Meg reached under the frog statue where she knew the key was hidden and opened the door.
She ran in the witch's study to try and find out where her mistress had gone. The old witch was not a very nice person but Meg worried about the hag. She went in a bit frightened knowing she was not usually allowed here. However this wasn't the first time she had broken the rule.
The first and only other time that she had entered the witch's study was when she had found the books about THE THING. The witch didn't seemed to care that IT was torturing little boys and girls by altering their dreams. However, she did have lots of information about IT so Meg had decided to fight THE THING by herself. That's why she had gone to the pyramid and lost her magic wand and spell book.
When she entered the witch's study now, the first new thing she noticed were the strange looking potions that she had never seen before. There was also an open book on the ancient, wooden desk. It listed 13732 Transformation Spells guaranteed to scare tiny, whining, filthy brats.
" Sparkles and twitches! Could it be true?"
Hearing the old hag coming into the house Meg ducked under the desk.
"Meg?! Are you in here?" cracked the witch.
"Umm... no."
" Good." said the witch grabbing Meg's hair and pulling her out from under the desk.
" Where were you?" asked Meg.
"None of your business" said the witch.
Meg was trying to get out of the room quietly when the witch called out:
" How was the pyramid?"
"Ok...I lost my magic wand."said Meg ashamed.
"Of course you did. You always do. Every night. And I have to go fetch it. Here it is."
The hag took out Meg's wand from under her many coats.
"What? What do you mean every night?"
" You had it all figure it out, did't you? The books about THE THING, the transformation spells... You were just about to accuse me, weren't you?"
" What? Me? Actually..."
" Actually, said the hag, why don't you have a look at yourself? You've really done it tonight."
Meg stared into the mirror and couldn't believe her eyes.
" It is not your fault, said the witch, it's what you are. You should embrace it. It's a shame you will forget it all again by morning."
Looking back at Meg from the dusty mirror was the most monstrous fish the world had ever seen, which had haunted the nightmares of many kids that night.
19/12/2014
17/12/2014
The Play
One fine morning, a shooting star landed in my grandmother's apple garden. Along with it came a letter. That's what I saw when I woke up, a shooting star, a letter and ... a turtle.
"My name is Friday." said the turtle.
If I wasn't freaked out enough already, the turtle told me that I should open the letter. In it there was a drawing of 2 drama masks and a set of instructions in French and a thick big book. Yes, it was a big envelope...
"My civilization sent your civilization our most important theatre play. It is essential that you read it out loud right now!" said the turtle anxiously.
Characters:
Turtle
Elmer,the one-eyed fish (in absence)
Investigator
Neighbour
Smart-Arrow
Human girl
ACT 1
Investigator: What's your name and where do you live?
Turtle: I am Friday and I live on Jupiter. I moved here after I turned 136.
Investigator: Where did you previously live?
Turtle: I lived on Earth in the Atlantic Ocean. That's where I met Elmer. It was love at first sight.
Investigator: And you came to Jupiter together?
Turtle: Yes, we did...And now I am all alone. (cries)
Investigator:Why did Elmer return to Earth?
Turtle: He didn't. He never wanted to return to Earth. All the fishing... it's horrible out there!
Investigator: Yes, he did. We found his body on London Bridge in England.
Turtle:(shocked) No way! I thought you said he died in a fire caused by an electrical problem.
Investigator:(flustered) Well... he did...on Earth.
Turtle:... I...I don't know what to say...
Investigator: So you didn't know he had left Jupiter?
Turtle: Well...obviously not.
Investigator: So... were you having problem with your relationship?
Turtle:(revolted) No,wait! We were just friends!
ACT 2
Turtle:(crying) I can't believe this happened to my poor Elmer. Him... on Earth... from all the places in this Universe, he died on Earth...
Neighbour: You should stop worrying about that. You are going to get wrinkles... more than you already have...
Turtle: But I want to know what happened to my best friend. I think I should go to Earth and see what really happened to the poor fish.
Neighbour: And what are you going to do? You are not going to start riding shooting stars at your age...are you?
Turtle: Well...That's exactly what I am going to do!
Neighbour: Outrageous... simply... it's not done! My dear, you are insane.(leaves)
ACT 3
(turtle picks herself up with difficulty after having crash landed)
Turtle: Oh dear, riding a shooting star was more of an adventure than I thought. I hope I haven't cracked my shell... I really can't stand a draught at my age...
(pulls out an arrow from inside her shell and talks to it)
Turtle: Smart Arrow, where are we?
Smart Arrow: We are on planet Earth in England, in London. We are in an apple garden. We are in a heap of leaves. We are--
Turtle: Ok, I got it! I can see we are in an apple garden. I am not that old. But my question is: why am I seeing apples on the trees? I thought we were supposed to arrive here in winter.
Smart Arrow: We arrived faster because we are lighter.
Turtle: What do you mean?
Smart Arrow: The system crashed because of Flappy Bird.
Turtle: Who is Flappy Bird? Is that a new gadget? Or is it a pet? Wait... I don't have any pets... What happened?
SmartArrow: Because of Flappy Bird the system crashed and we lost all our luggage in space.
Turtle: So I don't have anything ?
Smart Arrow: Well... you have me... and Flappy Bird.
Turtle: Ok... I shouldn't get angry now... I will get wrinkles. I just have one question: Who or what is Flappy Bird?
Smart Arrow: Flappy Bird is a game that I downloaded.
Turtle: So it is all your fault that I don't have anything anymore...
Smart Arrow: Yeap...
Turtle:And that I am stuck on Earth with an annoying gadget..
Smart Arrow: Yeap... heeey!
Turtle: Anyway... Can you help me find out what happened to Elmer?
Smart Arrow: I suppose so... I don't have anything else to do. I am stuck on Earth with an annoying fossilized turtle.
Turtle: You know I can turn you off, right?
Smart Arrow: Noooo! Do not close me! I am going to lose my high scores on Flappy Bird. You have no idea how hard is to make that bird fly.
Turtle:Ah, there you go! Now you will listen.
Smart Arrow: So... What is the location of the body?
Turtle: London Bridge, England.
Smart Arrow: London Bridge, England. We will investigate that! Which way is it?
Turtle: Where is it?! SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW THAT? Don't you have Gurgle maps, GPS... stuff like that?!
Smart Arrow: I did but...
Turtle: Flappy Bird, right?!
Smart Arrow: Maybe.
Turtle: I don't know... big stone bridge with a castle or something...
Smart Arrow: Castle, right. This way!
ACT 4
Turtle: You are pointing at a heap of rocks. Am I supposed fly over them?
Smart Arrow: No... that's the castle.. well, a castle... well, it was a castle. According to Wikipedia, it was struck by lighting and destroyed by fire.
Turtle: Destroyed by fire? Elmer died in a fire. It is not in London but we should take a look.
Smart Arrow: I don't know... It looks dangerous. If anything happens to me I will lose..
Turtle: Your high scores... I know. Now could you please turn on your flashlight before I shut you down and you DO lose your high scores?
Smart Arrow: Flashlight on!
(After a while, the turtle is struggling to pick up a giant book from the floor)
Turtle: Look, Smart Arrow, I found something. Oh my God, it has Elmer's picture on the cover! Oh, but it is written in... what is this... Humanish?
Smart Arrow: No. It is actually English.
Turtle: Well can you translate it on Gurgle Translate?
Smart Arrow: I can't.
Turtle: Flappy Bird... What can this bird do?
Smart Arrow: Basically... nothing. It can't even fly.
Turtle: Well, that's it then. I will ask a local to read it out for me.
Smart Arrow: Good ideea. Just tell them you can't read and --
Turtle: I can't do that. They will think that I am stupid.
Smart Arrow: Well, you are.
Turtle: If your name is Smart Arrow that doesn't mean that you are smart, you know...
Smart Arrow: No... but I am smarter than you.
Turtle: Maybe... Before Flappy Bird. No. Here is what we will do: We will write a letter in my language... (starts writing)
Smart Arrow: But that is French. It is also a human language.
Turtle: No, it is not. It is the language of L.O.V.E, Living Organisms, Very Educated. That includes turtles. Some humans are forced to learn it as well.
ACT 5
(turtle sits in an apple garden)
Smart Arrow: I think your plan is too complicated.
Turtle: Shhh... Here comes a young female human.
Girl: Ahhh.... Disgusting... a turtle!
Turtle: Hi, I am Friday from Jupiter.
Girl: (horrified) It speaks!!!
Turtle: It?! Excuse me, young creature, but that is not very polite. But well, you'll have to do. I'm too old to go looking for a more appropriate human. Listen, you must read this book. Out loud. Now.
Girl: So you want me to read you a story?
Turtle: No, it's not like that. My civilization sent your civilization our most important theatre play. It is essential that you read it out loud right now! It is essential that your civilization knows it... (menacingly) before we arrive!
Girl: Ok, whatever. Here, have an apple. I'll read.
(sits on the grass and opens the book)
Girl: THE MYSTERIOUS PASSING OF ELMER, THE ONE EYED FISH
Characters:Turtle, Elmer, the one-eyed fish.....
"My name is Friday." said the turtle.
If I wasn't freaked out enough already, the turtle told me that I should open the letter. In it there was a drawing of 2 drama masks and a set of instructions in French and a thick big book. Yes, it was a big envelope...
"My civilization sent your civilization our most important theatre play. It is essential that you read it out loud right now!" said the turtle anxiously.
THE MYSTERIOUS PASSING OF ELMER, THE ONE EYED FISH
Characters:
Turtle
Elmer,the one-eyed fish (in absence)
Investigator
Neighbour
Smart-Arrow
Human girl
ACT 1
Investigator: What's your name and where do you live?
Turtle: I am Friday and I live on Jupiter. I moved here after I turned 136.
Investigator: Where did you previously live?
Turtle: I lived on Earth in the Atlantic Ocean. That's where I met Elmer. It was love at first sight.
Investigator: And you came to Jupiter together?
Turtle: Yes, we did...And now I am all alone. (cries)
Investigator:Why did Elmer return to Earth?
Turtle: He didn't. He never wanted to return to Earth. All the fishing... it's horrible out there!
Investigator: Yes, he did. We found his body on London Bridge in England.
Turtle:(shocked) No way! I thought you said he died in a fire caused by an electrical problem.
Investigator:(flustered) Well... he did...on Earth.
Turtle:... I...I don't know what to say...
Investigator: So you didn't know he had left Jupiter?
Turtle: Well...obviously not.
Investigator: So... were you having problem with your relationship?
Turtle:(revolted) No,wait! We were just friends!
ACT 2
Turtle:(crying) I can't believe this happened to my poor Elmer. Him... on Earth... from all the places in this Universe, he died on Earth...
Neighbour: You should stop worrying about that. You are going to get wrinkles... more than you already have...
Turtle: But I want to know what happened to my best friend. I think I should go to Earth and see what really happened to the poor fish.
Neighbour: And what are you going to do? You are not going to start riding shooting stars at your age...are you?
Turtle: Well...That's exactly what I am going to do!
Neighbour: Outrageous... simply... it's not done! My dear, you are insane.(leaves)
ACT 3
(turtle picks herself up with difficulty after having crash landed)
Turtle: Oh dear, riding a shooting star was more of an adventure than I thought. I hope I haven't cracked my shell... I really can't stand a draught at my age...
(pulls out an arrow from inside her shell and talks to it)
Turtle: Smart Arrow, where are we?
Smart Arrow: We are on planet Earth in England, in London. We are in an apple garden. We are in a heap of leaves. We are--
Turtle: Ok, I got it! I can see we are in an apple garden. I am not that old. But my question is: why am I seeing apples on the trees? I thought we were supposed to arrive here in winter.
Smart Arrow: We arrived faster because we are lighter.
Turtle: What do you mean?
Smart Arrow: The system crashed because of Flappy Bird.
Turtle: Who is Flappy Bird? Is that a new gadget? Or is it a pet? Wait... I don't have any pets... What happened?
SmartArrow: Because of Flappy Bird the system crashed and we lost all our luggage in space.
Turtle: So I don't have anything ?
Smart Arrow: Well... you have me... and Flappy Bird.
Turtle: Ok... I shouldn't get angry now... I will get wrinkles. I just have one question: Who or what is Flappy Bird?
Smart Arrow: Flappy Bird is a game that I downloaded.
Turtle: So it is all your fault that I don't have anything anymore...
Smart Arrow: Yeap...
Turtle:And that I am stuck on Earth with an annoying gadget..
Smart Arrow: Yeap... heeey!
Turtle: Anyway... Can you help me find out what happened to Elmer?
Smart Arrow: I suppose so... I don't have anything else to do. I am stuck on Earth with an annoying fossilized turtle.
Turtle: You know I can turn you off, right?
Smart Arrow: Noooo! Do not close me! I am going to lose my high scores on Flappy Bird. You have no idea how hard is to make that bird fly.
Turtle:Ah, there you go! Now you will listen.
Smart Arrow: So... What is the location of the body?
Turtle: London Bridge, England.
Smart Arrow: London Bridge, England. We will investigate that! Which way is it?
Turtle: Where is it?! SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW THAT? Don't you have Gurgle maps, GPS... stuff like that?!
Smart Arrow: I did but...
Turtle: Flappy Bird, right?!
Smart Arrow: Maybe.
Turtle: I don't know... big stone bridge with a castle or something...
Smart Arrow: Castle, right. This way!
ACT 4
Turtle: You are pointing at a heap of rocks. Am I supposed fly over them?
Smart Arrow: No... that's the castle.. well, a castle... well, it was a castle. According to Wikipedia, it was struck by lighting and destroyed by fire.
Turtle: Destroyed by fire? Elmer died in a fire. It is not in London but we should take a look.
Smart Arrow: I don't know... It looks dangerous. If anything happens to me I will lose..
Turtle: Your high scores... I know. Now could you please turn on your flashlight before I shut you down and you DO lose your high scores?
Smart Arrow: Flashlight on!
(After a while, the turtle is struggling to pick up a giant book from the floor)
Turtle: Look, Smart Arrow, I found something. Oh my God, it has Elmer's picture on the cover! Oh, but it is written in... what is this... Humanish?
Smart Arrow: No. It is actually English.
Turtle: Well can you translate it on Gurgle Translate?
Smart Arrow: I can't.
Turtle: Flappy Bird... What can this bird do?
Smart Arrow: Basically... nothing. It can't even fly.
Turtle: Well, that's it then. I will ask a local to read it out for me.
Smart Arrow: Good ideea. Just tell them you can't read and --
Turtle: I can't do that. They will think that I am stupid.
Smart Arrow: Well, you are.
Turtle: If your name is Smart Arrow that doesn't mean that you are smart, you know...
Smart Arrow: No... but I am smarter than you.
Turtle: Maybe... Before Flappy Bird. No. Here is what we will do: We will write a letter in my language... (starts writing)
Smart Arrow: But that is French. It is also a human language.
Turtle: No, it is not. It is the language of L.O.V.E, Living Organisms, Very Educated. That includes turtles. Some humans are forced to learn it as well.
ACT 5
(turtle sits in an apple garden)
Smart Arrow: I think your plan is too complicated.
Turtle: Shhh... Here comes a young female human.
Girl: Ahhh.... Disgusting... a turtle!
Turtle: Hi, I am Friday from Jupiter.
Girl: (horrified) It speaks!!!
Turtle: It?! Excuse me, young creature, but that is not very polite. But well, you'll have to do. I'm too old to go looking for a more appropriate human. Listen, you must read this book. Out loud. Now.
Girl: So you want me to read you a story?
Turtle: No, it's not like that. My civilization sent your civilization our most important theatre play. It is essential that you read it out loud right now! It is essential that your civilization knows it... (menacingly) before we arrive!
Girl: Ok, whatever. Here, have an apple. I'll read.
(sits on the grass and opens the book)
Girl: THE MYSTERIOUS PASSING OF ELMER, THE ONE EYED FISH
Characters:Turtle, Elmer, the one-eyed fish.....
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